4 Cylinder Ford Owners Syndrome
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4 Cylinder Ford Owners Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Poor Depth Perception
Overly Optimistic
Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
You believe that power is not as important as handling... even though your car travels slow enough that wooden wheels would not effect handling.
You want to get larger wheels for the car, but your little sister guards her rollerblades too well.
You constantly try to differentiate one model 4 cylinder from another, while those with complete cars can see no difference as they accelerate past them on the highway.
You refuse to admit any similarity between a Zetec and a Victa GTS Lawnmower engine.
Hallucinations -
When driving on dirt, you become possessed by the spirit of Possum Bourne.
When repairing the car after driving on dirt and discovering you dont actually own a rally car, Possum honks the horn and demands to know whats taking so long.
Physical Traits -
Unresponsive hearing resulting from continual honks from passing traffic.
The ability to contort your body into a shoebox with enough spare room to still look around and say "roomy"
Treatment
The only known cure is to save enough money to buy the missing 4 cylinders.
Prognosis
Untreated the patient could spiral into agoraphobic responses, retreating inside the car like a hermit, turning up a Kenny G Album, and ignoring the outside world completely.
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