Minginator Syndrome
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Minginator SYndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Pathological Modifier
Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
You have tried 3 times and failed to register your car as a commercial aircraft.
You cannot understand why your car has achieved cult status among angst filled teenagers in the forum, because the car is just to pick up the kids and the groceries.
Hallucinations -
When you visit your car in the Garage, you can hear a voice yelling "FEED ME SEYMOUR!". This problem has sometimes led to you being found tucked in a corner of the garage fending off intruders with a torque wrench and a length of fuel line.
If you stare long enough into the engine bay, all the equipment in it appears to shrink, forcing you to fumble for your credit card and Herrods Speed Dial Button. Domino's delivery may also be called to quell the shakes until equipment arrives from the overnight courier.
You experience Time Dilation during 1/4 mile runs. You are unsure if this is a hallucination or a physical manifestation from approaching the speed of light.
Physical Traits -
An overwhelming desire to sit on people
Drools uncontrollably upon sighting chrome finish or braided hose
All items of clothing including undergarments carry sponsor logos
Eyes are glazed and pupils constantly dilated due to G Force trauma.
Memory bad due to lack of blood getting to the brain from blackouts caused by high speed maneuvers.
Treatment
Wine, Women & song. (This is more of a distraction than a treatment).
Keep patient calm, cool and comfortable at all times. Drunk is better. Stoned is perfect. Hourly Fast Food injections.
Prognosis
Laminginator Syndrome has no known cure and will eventually lead to Laminginator II Syndrome, Laminginator III Syndrome et al. Eventually a vehicle will be built that when driven will produce enough torque to crush itself and the human occupant into a box the size of a sugar cube.
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