[Cav]

Went to Rocky earlier this week to witness business plans about crowd control during the pandemic packs of marauding customers.

First off is the medical appliance store
A sign at front door says don't come in if during the last fortnight you have been overseas/interstate, have a temperature or a head cold.
we step inside and as my eyes were adjusting to the dark (they must be saving on power) I started to move to the right where the ladies I have dealt with before reside - I had an appointment.
Suddenly the banshee yells something from the desk on the left.
Oh, look there is a sign saying wait here.
Over comes the gestapo apprentice and grills me on what I have been doing the last couple of weeks.
I don't really listen, a skill I have developed over time, and I say no to whatever questions she asked.
Then I wait for my appointment person. I have to stand as the waiting chairs have been removed.
I stand and wait, a sheila comes out, a discussion takes place, I can't go into her office because of the rules, so I stand where the waiting chairs used to be and we talk business as she puts on gloves to handle an appliance I brung with me.
Business completed and I turn to leave.
Miss gestapo is still on the prowl however I notice that she is not observing social distancing with other staff.
I may never go back.

Officeworks
Oh, plenty of signs out the front but I don't read them.
We walk inside and there is a bloke behind a bunker system, no hang on, it's just lots paper reams that resemble a bunker. Am I being triggered? Then I realise they are there so that I can't get close enough to spit on him.
I joke about his accent.
He doesn't laugh.
I mentioned what I need and he refers me to an aisle.
I turn and notice that there are arrows indicating one-way traffic in the aisle.
My aisle has arrows pointing towards me.
So I turn around and walk backwards down the aisle.
Bunker man raises a laugh now that I am out of his spitting range.
At the cash register I see that they have installed bank screens so I guess I can't spit on them either.
In front of the register are more reams of paper which prevent me from getting too close and I just manage to reach the paywave jigger being careful not to leave any fingermarks on.

Then to the maul.

Optometrist
Are they open or shut?
The lights are on but the door is only partially open.
An assistance asks if she can be of any assistance.
I enquire about getting new lenses in my glasses which I show her.
She advises that unless it is urgent they can't do anything.
I say it is not urgent.
Food Hall
We traverse the food hall, or rather what used to be the food hall.
The Army must be using it as a new training ground obstacle course. There are no chairs but plenty of tables. There are signs on the tables which I don't read and where there are bench seats that haven't been ripped out to stop people having the temerity to sit on them, they are covered in chains and more bits of paper with writing on them.
Most food serving places are in darkness.

Woolies
We finally arrive at Woolies to pick up a few essentials we need.
There are no empty shelves except for hand sanitisers, I suppress my panic because I know back at the home bunker we only have 25 of these left.
At the fast checkout, the old checkout chick is hidden behind another bank screen.
She is wearing a facemask, so I keep getting her to repeat everything she says twice.
I make a joke and she laughs.
I like this place.
It seems her hubby is in the RAAF, I dunno how I got such sensitive information out of her, but Raafies and related families are fair game to Army blokes.
She mentions various bases hubby has been posted and I start to wonder how I can get her to STFU.
I mention Raymond Terrace is a great place and as a discussion starved person from NSW now living in Central Qld she starts to describe in great detail where they used to live, something about up a hill and my eyes start to glaze over. I cut her off by saying druggies lived in that street.
Having successfully put **** on her we are off to the next place.

Bunnings
Wire barriers greet us as we traverse a maze of temporary fencing into the store. Thank goodness there are no bunkers.
I ask the good lookin' check where I can find high-pressure spray thingies and doggy doors.
Tool area and aisle eight.
We head off and I ignore her pleas for my phone number.
Pressure spray thingy selected - check. It has a four-year warranty.
Doggy door - check, although we really don't know what 'mms' are and I settle on a door 'for small to medium dogs' which should be just ideal for the fat gutted dog even if it was made in China.
Just to be sure there is no risk of any infection, I'll give it a good wash with the pressure spray thingy before I attempt to fit it, a simple installation job that should only take me about a week.

I'm ready to head back to Yap-Hoon, but hang on, you know who wants to go to the nursery area down the other end of the store.
On the way we check out some cane chairs we don't need.
We get another must-have item from the nursery and then prepare to leave the store.
On the way back I sit on one of those creaking unsteady cane chairs to prove they are indeed ****.
We are then marshalled into a queue that has 1.5 metre masking tape on the floor and we halt at the grande poo bar queue marshall himself. I note that he needs a stop/go thingy.
He motions us to a sales point - she is the oldest and ugliest one there.
I protest that I want a good looking chick even though there are none about.
The sales lady who is probably older than me laughs.
I like this place.
She then has a joke with Paula about getting nice young men to serve them.
They both laugh.
I hate this place.

We leave Rocky and get back to Yap-Hoon without being picked up by the 'having no reason to drive' nazis.
I have a cuppa and a nana nap.
I just woke up and I realise that with our new acquisitions I now have some jobs to do around the house.

I tell Paula I'll get started on them right away, tomorra.