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Old 08-01-2005, 10:20 AM   #31
Racecraft
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my sneakiest failure:-
Reversing a car onto the 4 post hoist at work, (we cut the safety stops off the ramps to get low cars up and down<-- important factor in the unfolding events) Left the car in neutral and hand brake off. THru it up in the air and dragged the sissor lift to the tow bar to lift the body of the car up so i could roll the rear guards..Well, I didnt allow for the change of angle as i raised it, then TWAck the car bounced off the lift and started to gradually roll forwards.. Bam! rolled nose first off the front of the 6 foot high hoist... The front end was butted into the ground and the rear was beached on the edge of the hoist.
By this time I was 20 metres away white as a sheet just spectating.. Dropped the hoist and replaced the front bar cover with a spare and no one ever found out.
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Old 08-01-2005, 10:35 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Thanatos
WHO realised??? I seem to recall the words "Dude, this seriously looks like it's coming from up higher" being used. :P lol
I was the one who saw the fuel dripping off the heater tap :P

I've also got a dint in my compliance plate from a thermostat that was left on top of it when I closed the bonnet.

And the number of times I've had to machine the rear discs on a car at work. Get the caliper off, try to pull the disc off, won't budge. Screw the bolts into the little holes on the disc, still isn't coming. WTF?! CRAP! Subarus have a drum hand brakes! Wash my hands, lower the hoist, take the handbrake off, raise the hoist, disc pops off first shot.
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Old 08-01-2005, 10:46 AM   #33
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I have a few, but I'll only list the ones that have cost me money to rectify..

When I had my XD 302c I decided it would be a good idea to fit a bigger cam to get some more grunt, didn't matter that the motor was bone stock. So I went out and bought a TQ30 cam, which from memory has about .520 thou lift. The next day I headed off for Monkey Mia, in northern W.A, only to break a valve spring 400k's up the road and drop a valve and destroy the motor. ended up costing me about $2200 for a new motor and to get the car home.

Destroying the C4 Auto in the same car with the recently fitted motor, running late for work and living in Somers at the time, there is a long straight road leading out of Somers that I thought would be a good place to make up some time, and being early in the morning decided to give it a bit. So I'm doing 196k/ph (thats what the speed said anyway) and when I lift off to slow down there is a horrible vibration then an almighty bang. I looked in the rearview mirror to see if anything had fallen off only to see a cloud of white smoke and a largish peice of metal flying through the air about 30ft off the ground.....shit I think.....stand on the brakes and pull it to a stop, get out and have a look around, can't see anything obviously wrong, apart from the car idling very rough, have alook under the car, and see what the problem is.....The C4 has lunched itself. The bellhousing had broken into 4 peices, it snapped the starter motor off, broke the input shaft, bent the output shaft, broke the extension housing clean off, and the peice of metal exiting out the rear of the car, was half of the driveshaft, I never found the other half. that episode only cost me $500 or so, and 2 taillights, coz I kicked them in out of frustration.

Changing a cam again.....
Took a week off work so I could muck around with the car and do a cam change.
All went smoothly until it came time to fire up the car with the new cam in it.
My Dad and myself tried for 3-4 days to get it going, adjusting the dizzy recharging batteries overnight coz they had been flattened trying to get it going, pulling it apart TWICE because the oil pump drive fell into the sump, we finally gave up and organised to have a friend of my dad's who has his own workshop to look at it, thing was he was in Clayton, and I was in Glen Forbes, about 100k's away, so I Borrow a car, Hire a trailer and get the car up to him, he looks at it for 2 minutes and says the distributor is buggered......It seems when I was puttign it back together I broke the hall sensor.
So that one cost me about $300. Second hand dissy, trailer hire andd fuel.
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Old 08-01-2005, 10:30 PM   #34
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I too have done a few of the things mentioned above . I can add the following.

I just finished changing the rear brake pads and tightening the wheels then i placed the mag wheel lock nut on the roof of the car so I would remember to put it in the glove box when I got in the car. Sure enough I forgot and went for a drive to bed in the brake pads with the wheel lock nut on the roof. I spent many hours with a punch and hammer getting those lock nuts off!

First time I did a oil change in my new garage I had the car up on ramps , removed the sump plug walked away to have a cuppa while the oil drained and came back to see about half the oil all over the floor . It was a windy day and the garage is a drive through and I had both doors opened to give me good ventilation while I worked. What a mess!
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Old 08-01-2005, 10:49 PM   #35
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my dumbest mistake was when i had the VL (mistake 1) reversed into the shed. the enterance to the shed slopes downwards, and the front wheels were on this slope. i was going to change the rear shocks so i put it in gear and applied the handbrake to stop it rolling. this was all good till i was laying on the ground, positioning the jack underneath, when i decided that if i jack it up from the centre of the diff i could get to both side at the same time instead of jacking it up again.
well there i was, laying on my back, jacking the car up and BOTH the rear wheels have left the ground. naturally being a trolley jack, the car has decided that it would like to start rolling out of the shed and there wasnt much i could do about it except for trying to reach a screw driver to release the jack back down. there i was, holding a whole car with one hand stopping it rolling away and trying to let it down at the same time....and there was no one else home either so i was Fu%ked!!
managed to let it down before it got away but that was adumb lesson learned VERY quickly!!
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Old 08-01-2005, 11:45 PM   #36
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Most recent, was when I bought a road bike (not running), piece of cake! No spark on 2 cylinders, so I bought a couple of coils for it... still no spark! It's gotta be the pickups! Bought a set of pickups for it... still no spark! 120 bucks down, and a week of scratching my head... I tried swapping the sparkplugs... it's sparking??? Set of new sparkplugs... and it's on the road!

Most stupid... bought an XY falcon, found some reconditioned doors and guards, had been sitting in a Longreach Ford dealership for 20 years, but before I set off on the road to restoration, I set off on a 6week journey, travelling 5,500 k's chasing a skirt. Problem was, before I left, I checked the oil, water, fluids, etc... and left Longreach without putting the radiator cap back on. Good old Falcon made it 400 k's before she let me know. In 6 weeks of travelling, I had 6 new head gaskets, and ended up doing the restoration when I got home, throwing out the motor in favour of a 302.
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:06 AM   #37
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Engine oil in Power steering...
Not my proudest moment.
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Old 09-01-2005, 12:25 AM   #38
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Too mnay little dumb things but fixing them has only ever really cost me time.

But the dumbest thing I did in the garage that nearly cost me a lot was when I fitted accelerator and brake pedal covers (the ones helds on with screws & metal tabs) to my AU2 Forte V8 auto. They were fine until I went to a track day at Wakefield Park. Coming off the back straight into the hairpin, I had just overtaken someone and it was time to step on the brakes. Step I did, STOP the car did NOT! I ended up going off sideways at around 130km/h, through the edge of the gravel trap and only stopped when I chucked the car into neutral and ripped the handbrake on. Of course this spun me 180 degrees, so I nearly backed into the wall - in the end, I missed the wall by the width of the car.

The cause of this? The screws holding the pedal cover on to the accelarator pedal embedded themselves in the carpet (obviously I was flat to the floor coming out of the kink!), causing the throttle to stick from INSIDE the car! Solution - angle grind those screws down!

To say I thought I was going to have a big stack would be an understatement - to walk away from it with only two sand blasted rims, and a few stones caught between the front tyre and the rim was miraculous.
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Old 09-01-2005, 01:01 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by InitialD
5. Chasing my 14" Spare tyre down the road as i left it leaning on my XE in the carport and watching it roll down the driveway and down the road
I did something similar to that 2 years ago, when changine the tyre on my first car (a 1982 KA Laser)....

Except it went across the road, and through someone's window. Fortunately they saw the light side of it, but I still had to pay for it :tosser1:

Mind you, I did get a Linkin Park album out of it when I entered that story into a competition for most embarrassing moments!
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Old 09-01-2005, 10:26 AM   #40
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A couple that I can think of. This one alot more stupid than the other.
One, I was friggin around with carbies on my XE ESP V8. Had just put the Thermoquad back on after removing one of a few Holleys. Muggins me thinks he'll adjust the idle speed while in DRIVE...with the had brake on. Here I am adjusting, no worries, 550-600 RPM in drive. Then I accidently knock the choke-up idle cam thingo on the carb, and the car starts rolling, beyond the limits of the handbrake. Here's me trying to stop the car from moving Mr Incredible-train style.
Was I lucky that that car only went 3 meters?...NO! The bonnet, being up, catches on the tilt-a-door of the garage I was in and wraps itself over the windscreen. The car then stalled.
Needed new Ghia bonnet, wiper panel and hinges to fix.
And I couldn't blame anyone else but myself....what a numb nut!
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Old 09-01-2005, 02:16 PM   #41
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One weekend 3 of us did the following:
1: gearboc changed in a HQ monaro
2: V8 Engine change in a ZG fairlane
3: XA wagon, engine and gearbox change, drum to disc change..
everything went perfect except for no one tightening the XA engine mounts..


Another one...
Used a crane to lift a HQ panelvan to steam clean underneath.... done perfect.
The aforementioned XA owner wanted hi car done as well, so using the same slings through the wheelarches that worked on the van, magically popped 4 dents in the XA....we didn't bother lifting it anymore..

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Old 09-01-2005, 04:35 PM   #42
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Man this stuff is gold. I have been ****ing myself here for 5 minutes

Probably the best of many bad things I have done happend when installing a manual choke cable into my 2nd car. I was under the steering column feeding the metal cable through the firewall. 1 in a million shot this, the cable went through the firewall, and made a beautiful archeway right across to the positive battery terminal. This lead to a very bright flash and the the carpet by the pedals catching on fire. That was the last straw for me, I just walked of swearing and left the fker to burn. My dad came running outside to see what was causing the smoke and was nice enough to put the fire out for me.

Done sooo many stupid things though I could write a book. Always happen towards the end of a job and just want the thing back on the road
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Old 09-01-2005, 04:51 PM   #43
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I dont really think I have done anything major ( yet )
Just the usual things like losing bolts, forgetting bolts, losing tools, forgetting tools are still under the bonnet :P

One close call was when I was trying to remove the bolt holding in the right hand timing chain tensioner on an ea falcon. That thing was chewed to bits before I even got to it. Obviously the sealant stuff had turned to rock. not letting it defeat me I went down to the hardware store and bought a few cans of butane gas and a flame thrower attachment. Anyway started heating up the bolt, all was going well until a huge fireball come shooting out of the timing cover. The oil and fuel vapours.....idiot

oh well, the bolt came out and i Didnt lose my eyebrows...
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Old 10-01-2005, 02:06 AM   #44
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I had a broken engine mount on my xc ute, when i changed it I took the good mount out instead of the busted one so i put it back in and changed the right one. It was 37 degrees and what should have been a simple job turned into a real pain in the ***. Two days later my dad says that i should change both mounts for obvious reasons so back to repco another new mount . Then unbelieveabely i took the new mount out that i'd put in 3 days ago. Good thing I'm a bricklayer and not a mechanic
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Old 10-01-2005, 12:55 PM   #45
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mine was with the 78 HZ i had,,i was testing the compression with sparkies out but forgot to move the ht leads away,,cablewy fire everywhere,,petrol gushed out the sparky holes and the ht leads ignited it,,damn i shit meself,,all me dad could say was we won't tell mum about this will we..
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Old 10-01-2005, 02:11 PM   #46
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static timing the old clevo to find #1 firing post on the dissy, then putting the leads on clockwise instead of anti clockwise, while trying to run in the cam. same day i put the exhaust manifold gaskets on upside down.
pulling the motor out with the toploader still bolted on and not having a spare yolk to plug the extension housing. used a plastic bag zip tied to it. the bag ripped getting the motor/box out and resulted in about 2 litres of gearbox oil going down the drive.
i was renting at the time :
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Old 10-01-2005, 02:19 PM   #47
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this thread has been a great read.
i aint done nothing stupid yet, tho the only thing i've ever done is change the brake fluid, and that went fine. took 1l of fluid to get it flushed out and running clean tho
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Old 10-01-2005, 03:27 PM   #48
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Well, despite this thread being a great laugh I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson.... Working on cars is DANGEROUS. So please, lets all remember to wear saftey glasses and keep our wits about us, one lapse in consentration could seriously injure or kill. Not what anyone wants!
P.s. I'm talking from experience here... I can only see out of one eye thanks to a rogue pair of pliers and a drum brake spring+shoe.


Back on topic... I remembered another foolish stunt we tried once.... draining the tranny as we lifted the engine out of the car.... but of course the tranny crushed the bucket instantly and leaked its entire contents all over the driveway of my mates newly rented factory... in front of the landlord... While my mate he was down at the shops! He managed to keep the lease for the factory after a short legal battle

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Old 10-01-2005, 07:45 PM   #49
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i remember the first ever time i did an oil change i left the sump plug out.
Poored in the oil, and ended up with a nice big mess on the garage floor.
:P
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Old 10-01-2005, 10:27 PM   #50
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Bought a Mazda 323 that you could open the boot with a 5 cent piece, slide the front windows down with your hands, left the wiring from where the CD player was directly connected to the battery.

Had a mate who toped up oil in his car and forgot to put the cap back on. Oil every where and unfortunately he didnot realise and the oil bakes to the hood and engine. Luckily no real damage done.
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Old 03-01-2006, 10:49 AM   #51
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Many, Many stupid things.

Grinding the engine bay on my XY only to have my wife come in and ask what all the smoke was. Looked up and found that the pile of steel wool I stored under my work bench had caught fire and melted the XY's tail lights and other bits of interior.

Mate not being able to drive his XD for weeks before I had a look and realised that he had replaced the new spark plug leads in reverse rotation order. The funny thiing was that it would actually start.

Trying to tighten the spark plug wire on my lawn mower while it was running. I still remember the pain shooting down my arm.

And last but not least. I belted a large screw driver sideways into the gap on the end of my leaf springs to open it enough to remove the rusted in bush. Was looking directly over it to review my progress and can remember thinking that this was probably fairly stupid. Next thing I know I am sitting on my a&$e and have blood ****ing out from a large gash in my eyebrow. The screwdriver had shot out and belted my eyebrow giving me 6 stiches and new respect for taking a safer approach.
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Old 03-01-2006, 11:28 AM   #52
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I take the cake for Idiot of 2005.

I bought a new set of leads for my 302. Like a fool in a hurry i took of all the old ones first (instead of changing them one by one : ) and could not rember the way the new ones were supposed to go.

I had a copy of workshop manual for the engine, and found the firing order of my car. It was too confusing so i simply pluged the leads in the same way as the photograph showed ( see i am a lot smarter than i look).

Started the engine and the biggest flame flashed out the top of the carby (and burned the roof!).

Looked back at the picture and read the fine print under it......."for illustrative purposes only.........." Damn it was not even a picture of a 302!
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Old 03-01-2006, 11:35 AM   #53
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My god there are a few people on here who have been close to receiving a Darwin Award !


One of my mates was rebuilding the carby on his 6cyl VB commodoore and found the carby kit he bought that arfternoon was the wrong one and the shops were now closed , so he decided to do some other things to the car while it was in bits ! Fixed his tacho, not thinking tried to start the car to see the tacho work. the steel fuel line went to nothing just above a gapping hole in the intake manifold where the carby used to sit ! LOTS OF FUEL, WIDE OPEN THROTTLE ! Yep , that tacho surely worked ! After about 5 seconds of full revs , he switched the ignition off , big backfire , fuel everywhere , needed 2 X 1.5 kg BCF fire extinguishers to kill the flames! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that was funny!
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Old 03-01-2006, 12:35 PM   #54
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I really cant believe Im goin to admit to this but anyhow....
Being an apprentice I fitted a new powersteering pump to the XR8.
Had the wheels jacked up off the ground started the car and proceeded to turn the wheel both ways to bleed the system. After afew mins I noticed that that bloody whiiring noise wouldnt go away so i looked at the God Book.It stated that in some circumstances it may need a vacuum pump and adaptor to rid the system of all the trapped air.
So i tried a whole bunch of things then thought if i used my mouth , with my lips to the inner part of the neck, Hey i could get a decent vacuum happ'n.
I proceeded to get a good vac happening and gave the thumbs up to my bro to "Crank" the starter.
Well $h1t me the thing started and swiftly tried to suck my face into the 2 1/2 - 3 inch neck. With my arms flapping and eyes WIDE open i managed to get my face off it. Only to have Blackish Red lips for about a week and ahalf in the perfect shape of a circle.... :(
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:05 PM   #55
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Thought I'd save my mate some money!
He had a F250 and the battery was stuffed, I had a huge brand new battery so I said he could have it. Of course it wouln'dt fit in the tray, so I got out the angle grinder and ground away the rear of the tray lip so it would fit(Woo Hoo, sparks everywhere!). Reconnected and all was fantastic, untill we jumped in to go for a drive. He could'nt see out of his side of the windscreen because of the marks in the glass left by the angle grinder sparks and bits of flying metal.
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:25 PM   #56
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Having to hotwire my '68 Pontiac Safari wagon (400Chev and PG) to start 'cos of faulty ignition switch .. forgetting it was actually in drive and that I had removed the throttle return spring. Standing on the brakes with it in Drive (didn't want it over reving in neutral), trying to stop it punching thru the shed wall and desperately trying to pull wires out from under dashboard to stop it!
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:40 PM   #57
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Hahaha this is a good read
- trying to remove an engine and gearbox from a friends xf, after about 20 mins of it not coming out we sat in the car and realised to remove the gearbox you gotta remove the shifter
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:44 PM   #58
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scraping the side mirror on the way out (reversing) cause of all the stupid kids that were behind my car. they bailed, and i was trying to watch where they went, cause they really have no idea about road safety. *scrape* done it to my old car and my current car now. :(
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Old 03-01-2006, 04:55 PM   #59
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LOL some funny ones in here. A couple of years ago now I was changing my light globes one day and when I was finished, I went to shut the bonnet..... But it wouldn't shut. So I kept slamming it down thinking the latch was stuck. Anyway, my friend came by and had a quick look laughing at me slamming down the bonnet. Two minutes later he picked up the back of the light dust protector. Hmmm now there is a dent in my bonnet *red face*

I've also made the mistake of leaving the car in "D" and the bugger wouldn't start. So tinkering around with everything I called RACV, less than two seconds the guy started the car...... Needless to say I skulked off.

Oh, one more. I disconnected the battery to install a new stereo. Later on I went to start the car, and of course it wouldn't start.... Stuffed around with it, still nothing. I had to borrow the folks' car that night to go to work. The next day I had another look, only to realise I left off one of the terminals on the negative side hehe!
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Old 03-01-2006, 05:01 PM   #60
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i had to change a forklift engine many years ago just after i started a new job . engine wiring gearbox reco the lot . took 3 days. it was on lpg . the rotor turns anti clockwise on the nissan forklift engine. i hooked it up to run like a car , clockwise . it was coughing and spluttering but would not start. the formane and leading hand came over to help out . now the muffler was on top of the engine. we all had our heads down listening . the forman was concentrating wextra hard with his head down listening whilst turning the dizzy . we were priming the muffler with sweet and pure lpg . when buuuuuuuuooooommmmmmm it shot his head up into a standing upright position and spun him around on his feet he took a step in that direction and kept walking never said a word . my ears were ringing for 3 days. a few years later he got a pay out for industrial deafness. the day it happened some workmates were 500metres away and drove back to the shop to see what the explosion was. the muffler was blown apart.
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