|
|
|
|
|
|
Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
|
|||||||
| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
 |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
02-03-2005, 06:21 PM
|
#1 | ||
|
I wish I was a Pursuit...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Albany WA
Posts: 402
|
haha apparently this is real... i dunno tho some of them are really dumb...
 : "Actual stupid questions asked The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records. Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q: Did he kill you? Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Were you alone or by yourself? Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture? A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I'll be three months on March 12th. Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time? Do you have any children or anything of that kind? Was that the same nose you broke as a child? Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide? So, you were gone until you returned? You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it? Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary's Hospital? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M. Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!"
__________________
:newangel:cassie 2001 AUII XLS Marlin Ute Silhouette, 5 spd MANUAL, Sports Bar, Tinted, 2.5” Exhaust, Pacemaker Extractors pics of my ute HERE |
||
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 06:40 PM
|
#2 | ||
|
GT-P #0336
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,360
|
PMSL @ Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
__________________
 2003 FULLY OPTIONED MERCURY SILVER BA GT-P BUILD #336  REVERSE CAMERA - SAT NAV - PIONEER SUB & AMP - SUNROOF - DVD PLAYER - CUSTOM DUAL EXHAUST ~Tuned By Bluepower Racing~ |
||
|
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 06:51 PM
|
#3 | ||
|
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wherever envi takes me...
Posts: 662
|
 : : : : bloody seppos, u can always rely on them for a laugh....
__________________
You'll have to speak up, im wearing a towel... *Homer Simpson* |
||
|
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 06:51 PM
|
#4 | ||
|
Has Blue Blood
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,551
|
hey , it might have been Micheal Jackson getting questioned Krissy?
|
||
|
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 06:56 PM
|
#5 | ||
|
My 1st set of Wings!!!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: way, WAY south of the Bombays!!!
Posts: 773
|
Bwahahaha, and these are educated ppl huh?
|
||
|
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 07:01 PM
|
#6 | |||
|
have you seen my marbles?
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: land of oz
Posts: 570
|
Quote:
 :
__________________
comfortably numb... |
|||
|
|
|
|
02-03-2005, 08:26 PM
|
#7 | |||
|
Regular Schmuck
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 5,640
|
Quote:
Doh.. beaten to the punch and you can't delete the message (?) |
|||
|
|
|
|
03-03-2005, 01:55 PM
|
#8 | ||
|
FPV GT 0915
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Mostly in my GT
Posts: 716
|
Just because some one is smart doesn't mean that they are logical !!!!!
__________________
Bluprint BA GT 2004 Model - Mods: Tinted Windows, Premium Sound, BBS Mags, 245/35R19 fronts, 285/30R19 rears, BMC POD Filter, SS cold air induction, HM tri-y headers, Redback cat back system, Herrod power snorkle, moded Herrod helix spacer, 4" ram air induction, More to come.. |
||
|
|
|
|
03-03-2005, 04:48 PM
|
#9 | ||||
|
Life begins at 40
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne. Socialist capital of Victoriastan.
Posts: 3,715
|
Quote:
 :  : :yeees:  : Thanks for posting these Cassie, keep 'em coming. Cheers, Danny
__________________
Quote:
Justice is what you get when you run out of money.
|
||||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 02:54 PM
|
#10 | ||
|
Mopar/No Car
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Down the Obi..
Posts: 4,648
|
Bloody lawyers!
__________________
ColumnShift Media '72 Plymouth Scamp '80 Courier '13 Kawasaki ZX14-R '13 Berlina '92 Suzuki DR650 If you don't fight - You lose
|
||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 02:59 PM
|
#11 | |||
|
Dual O2 sensors
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Brisneyworld
Posts: 1,437
|
Quote:
__________________
Black 1990 300zx Twin Turbo 5 Speed Manual  :Blue 2004 Mini Cooper S 6 Speed Manual - Yes, thank you Amanda. I realise now that you updated my signature to include your car.  :
|
|||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 03:03 PM
|
#12 | ||
|
Mopar/No Car
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Down the Obi..
Posts: 4,648
|
No, that's politicians. It's ok to hate them...
__________________
ColumnShift Media '72 Plymouth Scamp '80 Courier '13 Kawasaki ZX14-R '13 Berlina '92 Suzuki DR650 If you don't fight - You lose
|
||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 03:04 PM
|
#13 | |||
|
I wish I was a Pursuit...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Albany WA
Posts: 402
|
Quote:
 i'm not over it yet
__________________
:newangel:cassie 2001 AUII XLS Marlin Ute Silhouette, 5 spd MANUAL, Sports Bar, Tinted, 2.5” Exhaust, Pacemaker Extractors pics of my ute HERE |
|||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 03:16 PM
|
#14 | |||
|
Dual O2 sensors
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Brisneyworld
Posts: 1,437
|
Quote:
__________________
Black 1990 300zx Twin Turbo 5 Speed Manual :Blue 2004 Mini Cooper S 6 Speed Manual - Yes, thank you Amanda. I realise now that you updated my signature to include your car. :
|
|||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 03:17 PM
|
#15 | |||||
|
Mopar/No Car
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Down the Obi..
Posts: 4,648
|
I've heard enough lawyer jokes this week to spend some time going through these -
Quote:
"Was it you, or your brother that was killed in the war?" Quote:
"by mah gawddang husband Billy-Joe-Cletus-Ray" Quote:
"Well gawddang, Cletus and I done made that baby in the back of his '57 Chebby out the back of the Gulp'n'Blow. Ah was one of their classier topless waitresses there at the time..." I'd just like to thank my employers for the 13 minutes I spent writing that...
__________________
ColumnShift Media '72 Plymouth Scamp '80 Courier '13 Kawasaki ZX14-R '13 Berlina '92 Suzuki DR650 If you don't fight - You lose
|
|||||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 06:25 PM
|
#16 | |||
|
I gots me a UTE
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Eyre Peninsula, SA
Posts: 457
|
Quote:
Hmm... I know a lawyer...  :
__________________
NEW UTE!!! (Yet to be named)
XF, Duel fuel, 250X, 4 on the floor (soon to be T5 hopefully) VDO Sound System, |
|||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 10:16 PM
|
#17 | ||
|
windsor user
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
|
lmfao!~
thanks for the laugh.. |
||
|
|
|
|
04-03-2005, 11:39 PM
|
#18 | ||
|
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In A House
Posts: 2,467
|
lol funny as was the last response to the last Q:
|
||
|
|
|
|
05-03-2005, 09:26 PM
|
#19 | ||
|
Lucifer's Angel
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
|
I just found this list on another website, and found this gem!!
"Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar! Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless? A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere
__________________
 SINISTER BA XR6 Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!
If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford... It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford  |
||
|
|
|
lol! real questions asked in court
Linear Mode
