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Old 30-01-2005, 10:59 AM   #1
bindi
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Default A Man's Revenge :)
This joke was emailed to me recently...


"So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?".

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out for a nice lunch and then went to shop at Harrods. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her that we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think that she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think that I threw her a loop when I said "That's fine honey".

She was almost reaching sexual satisfaction from all the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No honey, I don't feel like it".

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled: "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD the stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added. "Why can't you love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. "
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Old 30-01-2005, 11:53 AM   #2
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rofl lol ive heard that one before but it still cracks me up lol

i sooooo want a partner to try that one out on lol
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Old 30-01-2005, 11:55 AM   #3
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Old 30-01-2005, 12:08 PM   #4
klawsterfobik
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bindi
We went out for a nice lunch and then went to shop at Harrods.
LOL.. good joke, but i'd heard it before. I thought that line said Herrods, instead of Harrods. I thought thats not going to make her happy...

Casper, that fish cracks me up everytime.
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Old 30-01-2005, 02:11 PM   #5
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lol heard it before, nice one
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Old 30-01-2005, 02:17 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by klawsterfobik
I thought that line said Herrods, instead of Harrods. I thought thats not going to make her happy...
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
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Old 30-01-2005, 02:22 PM   #7
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LOL good one! :

Must remember this for future use :newangel: :P
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Old 30-01-2005, 02:23 PM   #8
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heard it before, and rofl @ casper
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Old 30-01-2005, 07:22 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Feathers
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
Not very subtle are we? :P
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Old 30-01-2005, 07:30 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Casper
:
I'll second that :
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Old 30-01-2005, 07:39 PM   #11
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Go one!
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Old 30-01-2005, 07:46 PM   #12
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hahahahahaha. Have heard it before, but still cracks me up.
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Old 30-01-2005, 07:47 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
*Takes notes*
I'm sure you'll have a list for me shortly :
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Old 30-01-2005, 09:03 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FordFan86
Not very subtle are we? :P
Shush you.
That comment wasn't directed at anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairmont99
*Takes notes*
I'm sure you'll have a list for me shortly :
Nah, you already know what makes me happy. _2: :
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If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford...
It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford
Last edited by Feathers; 30-01-2005 at 09:06 PM.
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Old 30-01-2005, 09:47 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Feathers
Nah, you already know what makes me happy. _2: :
:newangel: indeed :
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Quote:
Speed cameras have changed the things we pay attention to and the things we regard as important. Instead of focusing on the dangers ahead, motorists feel that they have been relieved of responsibility for managing their own driving, and have ceded it instead to the mechanical intervention of the camera and other traffic signals.
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